Godless Hippie Skank (Britta Perry) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ediblecomplex) wrote2012-06-15 01:35 am
ediblecomplex) wrote2012-06-15 01:35 am
The AT&T of App Posts
Character: Britta Perry
Series: Community
Character Age: Late 20s
Job: Camp Psych Major
Canon: When Jeff Winger, ex-lawyer and new student at Greendale Community College, creates a Spanish study group, he's expecting two things: One, that this will help him in his quest to bang the hot blonde in his class, and two, that he might learn some Spanish and get that college degree that he's been lying about having. What he ends up with is a strange bunch of people who stick with him through typical college events like relationship drama, epic paintball games, and zombie attacks, all while teaching him the true value of friendship.
The aforementioned hot blonde, Britta Perry is a passionate activist and the cool, worldly member of the group. Or so she likes to think! In truth, Britta's so insecure and worried about being a Good and Sensitive Person that she often takes things too far, coming off as an opinionated, obnoxious, and painfully uncool buzzkill. However, under the self-righteousness and occasional awkwardness is a genuinely caring person who adopts one-eyed cats and decided to help people by majoring in psychology. She’s only taken a few classes and still has problems grasping basic concepts (and the actual names thereof-- like the "edible complex") but Britta doesn't let that dampen her enthusiasm for shoving her nose into other people's lives and trying to fix their problems.
Sample Post:
When I heard about a summer camp looking for a someone to assist the staff in managing the issues of their troubled teens, of course I jumped at the chance to help out. Now that I’m here, I can see why the local therapists are so swamped. There are hordes of you! --I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have used that word, it makes you sound like livestock instead of the human beings that you are. Human beings who just need someone to help you work out your problems. Because-- and I know this may be hard to hear-- but claiming you have the desire to “eat brains” is a problem. A strangely familiar problem, even, which can only mean this is a textbook case of ... something.
... Okay, hey, stop groaning! I may be a licensed psych major, but this is a tricky diagnosis, okay? At first glance it appears to be a simple case of Dissociative Romeromania. Yes, that’s a real thing! It’s got all the symptoms: The slow shuffling, the rejection of traditional hygienic norms, the repetition of a single word over and over again. But that particular disorder is all rooted in the desire to conform to what society and the latest supernatural romance fad says is cool. And I’ve seen enough sheep-like behavior from the masses to know when something is teenagers trying to conform and when it’s something else, and this is something else. It’s more than youthful inclinations towards sameness! It’s a serious case of ... a mass inferiority complex.
Here, allow me to explain. You feel as if you’re not as smart as your fellow campers, and can’t measure up to the examples they set. These negative feelings have festered-- right, sorry, word choice again-- uh, matured into a larger issue that you’re allowing to define your entire existence. This is then combined with classical conditioning, finally manifesting itself as a compulsion to verbalize a desire for literal brains. Like Pavlov and his cat, except instead of the drool of animal cruelty being triggered by a bell, you’ve been trained to respond to the metaphorical sounds of judgement by crying out for the brains of supposedly more intelligent campers. You distract from this by putting on layers of zombie makeup, which you hope will cause observers to believe that your problems come from a fixation on death and not your envy of their thinking organs.
So friends, patients, campers hiding behind a facade of rotting flesh in order to cope with your issues! Don’t let your low self-esteem dictate your entire lives. The delicious brains you’re looking for aren't sitting in the craniums of your peers. They're already within you! In your heart, and also your skull. This may be hard for you to believe, but you can trust me when I say it. After all, I'm a psychology major.
Series: Community
Character Age: Late 20s
Job: Camp Psych Major
Canon: When Jeff Winger, ex-lawyer and new student at Greendale Community College, creates a Spanish study group, he's expecting two things: One, that this will help him in his quest to bang the hot blonde in his class, and two, that he might learn some Spanish and get that college degree that he's been lying about having. What he ends up with is a strange bunch of people who stick with him through typical college events like relationship drama, epic paintball games, and zombie attacks, all while teaching him the true value of friendship.
The aforementioned hot blonde, Britta Perry is a passionate activist and the cool, worldly member of the group. Or so she likes to think! In truth, Britta's so insecure and worried about being a Good and Sensitive Person that she often takes things too far, coming off as an opinionated, obnoxious, and painfully uncool buzzkill. However, under the self-righteousness and occasional awkwardness is a genuinely caring person who adopts one-eyed cats and decided to help people by majoring in psychology. She’s only taken a few classes and still has problems grasping basic concepts (and the actual names thereof-- like the "edible complex") but Britta doesn't let that dampen her enthusiasm for shoving her nose into other people's lives and trying to fix their problems.
Sample Post:
When I heard about a summer camp looking for a someone to assist the staff in managing the issues of their troubled teens, of course I jumped at the chance to help out. Now that I’m here, I can see why the local therapists are so swamped. There are hordes of you! --I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have used that word, it makes you sound like livestock instead of the human beings that you are. Human beings who just need someone to help you work out your problems. Because-- and I know this may be hard to hear-- but claiming you have the desire to “eat brains” is a problem. A strangely familiar problem, even, which can only mean this is a textbook case of ... something.
... Okay, hey, stop groaning! I may be a licensed psych major, but this is a tricky diagnosis, okay? At first glance it appears to be a simple case of Dissociative Romeromania. Yes, that’s a real thing! It’s got all the symptoms: The slow shuffling, the rejection of traditional hygienic norms, the repetition of a single word over and over again. But that particular disorder is all rooted in the desire to conform to what society and the latest supernatural romance fad says is cool. And I’ve seen enough sheep-like behavior from the masses to know when something is teenagers trying to conform and when it’s something else, and this is something else. It’s more than youthful inclinations towards sameness! It’s a serious case of ... a mass inferiority complex.
Here, allow me to explain. You feel as if you’re not as smart as your fellow campers, and can’t measure up to the examples they set. These negative feelings have festered-- right, sorry, word choice again-- uh, matured into a larger issue that you’re allowing to define your entire existence. This is then combined with classical conditioning, finally manifesting itself as a compulsion to verbalize a desire for literal brains. Like Pavlov and his cat, except instead of the drool of animal cruelty being triggered by a bell, you’ve been trained to respond to the metaphorical sounds of judgement by crying out for the brains of supposedly more intelligent campers. You distract from this by putting on layers of zombie makeup, which you hope will cause observers to believe that your problems come from a fixation on death and not your envy of their thinking organs.
So friends, patients, campers hiding behind a facade of rotting flesh in order to cope with your issues! Don’t let your low self-esteem dictate your entire lives. The delicious brains you’re looking for aren't sitting in the craniums of your peers. They're already within you! In your heart, and also your skull. This may be hard for you to believe, but you can trust me when I say it. After all, I'm a psychology major.